Relationships
I’m a psychologist who studies couples—people who are miserable in their relationships say ‘no’ to these 4 questions
Many of us already know the components of a healthy relationship — things like strong communication, total honesty, and unwavering commitment. But most people don’t actually know what these qualities look like in practice. As a result, couples may find themselves in a miserable situation. Even worse, they don’t recognize it due to unhealthy habits […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids: 5 toxic phrases that ‘instantly’ make them refuse to listen—say this instead
Parents know all too well what it’s like to deal with a kid who refuses to listen: It’s frustrating. But after years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships, I’ve noticed something fascinating: Parents who rarely deal with defiance don’t make threats, bribes or harsh consequences. They use language that makes children actually want to cooperate. Traditional parenting phrases […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples: Here’s what people fight about the most in relationships—and No. 1 will surprise you
Even the happiest couples encounter conflict. But what they fight about reveals a lot about what’s missing in the relationship. As a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve found that there are a few similar topics that come up again and again. And the first step to resolving the conflicts is to know what those topics […]
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I’ve spent 10 years studying parents of highly successful kids—5 things they do differently: ‘It’s not just hard work and grit’
I’ve always been fascinated by families whose children seem to be on some kind of unusual streak, reaching the top of their career ladders, or, even more interesting to me, blazing trails or following their passions with spectacular results. What did their parents do differently to empower them? What do researchers really know about what’s […]
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We’re therapists who’ve worked with 1,000 kids. Here are 6 things children worry about the most—that parents don’t realize
Being a parent has become an increasingly harder job, especially as anxiety levels keep rising, even among the youngest kids. As child and family therapists, over the years, we’ve worked with thousands of parents and children struggling with anxiety and stress. We get emails and calls from parents looking for guidance nearly every day. When […]
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I’m a therapist who’s worked with over 100 couples—the 5 most annoying habits I see in relationships
Even the strongest and happiest relationships can falter when seemingly small, frustrating habits are left unaddressed. They slowly pile up until, suddenly, their weight seems unbearable. When relationships end this way, exes often ruminate over the “straw that broke the camel’s back.” As a psychotherapist who has worked with over 100 couples, I’ve seen firsthand how some unchecked […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids—and this is the most dangerous and ‘overused’ phrase in parenting
There are two words that slip out so easily when your child experiences an emotional event. Maybe they tripped and fell or had a fight with a friend. Their face crumples, and before they’ve even had a chance to speak, you say: “You’re okay.” It sounds comforting. Reassuring, even. But it’s not. As a conscious […]
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Authoritarian vs. authoritative: The difference between the 2 parenting styles, and which experts recommend to raise successful kids
Searches for “parenting styles” rose 400% over the last month, according to Google Trends data. And while modern child-rearing sources tend to focus on the difference between gentle parenting, positive parenting and lighthouse parenting, it turns out many Americans are curious about a more traditional style: authoritative. In fact, “authoritative” was the top-searched parenting style […]
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‘The White Lotus’ girls’ trip is a disaster—these 3 red flags mean yours might be, too
In its third and most-viewed season, “The White Lotus” follows the nuanced and toxic dynamic that often plays out when friends take vacations together. The HBO series’ large cast of characters includes three middle-aged women taking a trip to recapture the magic of their childhood bonds, only to discover that they don’t have much in […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids—parents who have the closest relationships with their adult kids do 7 things early on
Every parent hopes their child will grow up and still want a close relationship with them. But close bonds don’t happen by accident — they are built through small, everyday interactions that make a child feel safe, seen and valued. As a conscious parenting researcher and coach, I’ve studied over 200 families. I’ve found that the way […]
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