Relationships
I’m a sex therapist: These 4 things ‘quietly kill intimacy’—most of them are ‘hiding in plain sight’
Many couples see intimacy as a “nice to have” in relationships. It’s sweet when it’s there, but not essential. This is especially true after the honeymoon period wears off. As a sex therapist and psychotherapist with over two decades of experience, I’m here to tell you that’s wrong. Intimacy is the heartbeat of a thriving relationship. […]
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If you say any of these 5 overused phrases, you may be coming off as ‘judgmental,’ says communication expert—what to say instead
You’ve probably worked hard to build positive relationships. But what if, despite your best intentions, your communication is coming off as judgmental? As the author of “Managing Up,” an executive coach to top performers at the world’s biggest companies, and a professor of human behavior, I’ve seen how certain phrases — even ones that sound […]
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I tried Denmark’s No. 1 secret to happiness for a year. It truly changed my life—and even made me more confident
For over four years, I’ve been a professor at Emory University’s Goizueta Business School. Before that, I worked in the corporate world at organizations like Coca-Cola and IBM. Recently, for work, I went to Denmark, one of the world’s happiest countries, to teach a course called “Happiness Blueprint.” While there, I discovered what many had […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples—people who are miserable in their relationships say ‘no’ to these 4 questions
Many of us already know the components of a healthy relationship — things like strong communication, total honesty, and unwavering commitment. But most people don’t actually know what these qualities look like in practice. As a result, couples may find themselves in a miserable situation. Even worse, they don’t recognize it due to unhealthy habits […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids: 5 toxic phrases that ‘instantly’ make them refuse to listen—say this instead
Parents know all too well what it’s like to deal with a kid who refuses to listen: It’s frustrating. But after years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships, I’ve noticed something fascinating: Parents who rarely deal with defiance don’t make threats, bribes or harsh consequences. They use language that makes children actually want to cooperate. Traditional parenting phrases […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples: Here’s what people fight about the most in relationships—and No. 1 will surprise you
Even the happiest couples encounter conflict. But what they fight about reveals a lot about what’s missing in the relationship. As a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve found that there are a few similar topics that come up again and again. And the first step to resolving the conflicts is to know what those topics […]
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I’ve spent 10 years studying parents of highly successful kids—5 things they do differently: ‘It’s not just hard work and grit’
I’ve always been fascinated by families whose children seem to be on some kind of unusual streak, reaching the top of their career ladders, or, even more interesting to me, blazing trails or following their passions with spectacular results. What did their parents do differently to empower them? What do researchers really know about what’s […]
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We’re therapists who’ve worked with 1,000 kids. Here are 6 things children worry about the most—that parents don’t realize
Being a parent has become an increasingly harder job, especially as anxiety levels keep rising, even among the youngest kids. As child and family therapists, over the years, we’ve worked with thousands of parents and children struggling with anxiety and stress. We get emails and calls from parents looking for guidance nearly every day. When […]
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I’m a therapist who’s worked with over 100 couples—the 5 most annoying habits I see in relationships
Even the strongest and happiest relationships can falter when seemingly small, frustrating habits are left unaddressed. They slowly pile up until, suddenly, their weight seems unbearable. When relationships end this way, exes often ruminate over the “straw that broke the camel’s back.” As a psychotherapist who has worked with over 100 couples, I’ve seen firsthand how some unchecked […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids—and this is the most dangerous and ‘overused’ phrase in parenting
There are two words that slip out so easily when your child experiences an emotional event. Maybe they tripped and fell or had a fight with a friend. Their face crumples, and before they’ve even had a chance to speak, you say: “You’re okay.” It sounds comforting. Reassuring, even. But it’s not. As a conscious […]
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