Marriage
I’m a psychologist who studies couples. Here’s the No. 1 thing that keeps relationships strong—more than love
Ask anyone what they think keeps a relationship strong, and they will probably tell you it’s love. There’s some truth to that: love is what draws us together in the first place. But after years of studying couples as a psychologist, and as a husband, I’ve realized something that research keeps confirming: The real factor […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples—here’s the No. 1 thing people fight about in relationships
When people ask me what couples fight about the most, they expect the usual suspects like money, sex or parenting. But after years of research, and from real-life experience in my own marriage, the answer is much simpler: tone of voice. That’s right. It’s not the dishes in the sink or the unpaid credit card […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples: People in the happiest relationships talk about 5 things every day—that most neglect
One of the most common myths about long-term relationships is that couples eventually run out of things to say. It’s easy to believe: Life gets busy, routines take over and conversations become more about logistics than connection. As a psychologist who studies couples, and based on my own experience being happily married, I know how […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples: People in the happiest relationships do 5 things during weekdays—that most neglect
Sometimes, 24 hours just doesn’t feel like enough. Between work, commutes, and a growing to-do list, it’s easy to get through an entire weekday without really connecting with your partner. But staying close doesn’t require extra time — just intention. As a psychologist who studies couples (and as a husband), I’ve seen firsthand how small […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples—people who are miserable in their relationships say ‘no’ to these 4 questions
Many of us already know the components of a healthy relationship — things like strong communication, total honesty, and unwavering commitment. But most people don’t actually know what these qualities look like in practice. As a result, couples may find themselves in a miserable situation. Even worse, they don’t recognize it due to unhealthy habits […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples: Here’s what people fight about the most in relationships—and No. 1 will surprise you
Even the happiest couples encounter conflict. But what they fight about reveals a lot about what’s missing in the relationship. As a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve found that there are a few similar topics that come up again and again. And the first step to resolving the conflicts is to know what those topics […]
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I’m a therapist who’s worked with over 100 couples—the 5 most annoying habits I see in relationships
Even the strongest and happiest relationships can falter when seemingly small, frustrating habits are left unaddressed. They slowly pile up until, suddenly, their weight seems unbearable. When relationships end this way, exes often ruminate over the “straw that broke the camel’s back.” As a psychotherapist who has worked with over 100 couples, I’ve seen firsthand how some unchecked […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples—5 ‘hard truths’ about marriage most people learn too late in life
Marriage is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journeys in life. While we often enter it with high expectations, the reality is that marriage is a lifelong learning process. As a psychologist who studies couples every day, I’ve worked with many people who only come to understand the toughest marriage lessons after they’ve experienced […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples—the ones who can answer these 5 questions have happier relationships than most
Most couples think they know each other well, but real intimacy is a lot more than just being able to name your partner’s favorite food or TV shows. As a psychologist, I’ve found that people in the happiest, most successful relationships see in their partner what others can’t or would normally overlook. If you can […]
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I’ve been a therapist for 30 years: 6 mistakes the happiest couples avoid early on
In relationships, no action is too small. Every little change you make matters. As a couples therapist with over 30 years of experience, I’ve seen partners repeat many of the same mistakes, often unknowingly. Typically, these unhelpful patterns started early on in the relationship. But don’t be concerned if you’re making some mistakes now. Simple […]
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