Make It Contributors
I’m a psychologist who studies couples—people who are miserable in their relationships say ‘no’ to these 4 questions
Many of us already know the components of a healthy relationship — things like strong communication, total honesty, and unwavering commitment. But most people don’t actually know what these qualities look like in practice. As a result, couples may find themselves in a miserable situation. Even worse, they don’t recognize it due to unhealthy habits […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids: 5 toxic phrases that ‘instantly’ make them refuse to listen—say this instead
Parents know all too well what it’s like to deal with a kid who refuses to listen: It’s frustrating. But after years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships, I’ve noticed something fascinating: Parents who rarely deal with defiance don’t make threats, bribes or harsh consequences. They use language that makes children actually want to cooperate. Traditional parenting phrases […]
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I’m a psychologist who studies couples: Here’s what people fight about the most in relationships—and No. 1 will surprise you
Even the happiest couples encounter conflict. But what they fight about reveals a lot about what’s missing in the relationship. As a psychologist who studies couples, I’ve found that there are a few similar topics that come up again and again. And the first step to resolving the conflicts is to know what those topics […]
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I’ve spent 10 years studying parents of highly successful kids—5 things they do differently: ‘It’s not just hard work and grit’
I’ve always been fascinated by families whose children seem to be on some kind of unusual streak, reaching the top of their career ladders, or, even more interesting to me, blazing trails or following their passions with spectacular results. What did their parents do differently to empower them? What do researchers really know about what’s […]
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I’ve worked with over 1,000 kids—if you want your child to trust you, do 6 things
Parents want their kids to trust them. They want to be the first person their child turns to with the big stuff, the hard stuff, and the exciting stuff. They want their kids to feel safe enough to ask questions and share emotions. But none of that happens automatically, and trust doesn’t come from simply […]
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I’ve helped hundreds of Americans move abroad—here are 5 of the most welcoming countries in Europe
I knew I wanted to live abroad as soon as I set foot in the Netherlands on a trip at 17. I chased that dream for years — studying Spanish in Spain at 21, teaching English there at 26, and pursuing a master’s there at 29 — but I kept ending up back in Texas. […]
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42-year-old American pays $1,850 a month for a 3-bedroom apartment in Italy: ‘People actually use their vacation time here’
Back in 2003, I spent a semester in L’Aquila, Italy and fell in love with the country. That study abroad experience changed the trajectory of my life. Two years later, I returned to pursue my master’s degree in marketing management and communications at Bocconi University in Milan. Fashionable, fast-paced Milan was miles away from the […]
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We’re therapists who’ve worked with 1,000 kids. Here are 6 things children worry about the most—that parents don’t realize
Being a parent has become an increasingly harder job, especially as anxiety levels keep rising, even among the youngest kids. As child and family therapists, over the years, we’ve worked with thousands of parents and children struggling with anxiety and stress. We get emails and calls from parents looking for guidance nearly every day. When […]
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I’m a therapist who’s worked with over 100 couples—the 5 most annoying habits I see in relationships
Even the strongest and happiest relationships can falter when seemingly small, frustrating habits are left unaddressed. They slowly pile up until, suddenly, their weight seems unbearable. When relationships end this way, exes often ruminate over the “straw that broke the camel’s back.” As a psychotherapist who has worked with over 100 couples, I’ve seen firsthand how some unchecked […]
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I’ve studied over 200 kids—and this is the most dangerous and ‘overused’ phrase in parenting
There are two words that slip out so easily when your child experiences an emotional event. Maybe they tripped and fell or had a fight with a friend. Their face crumples, and before they’ve even had a chance to speak, you say: “You’re okay.” It sounds comforting. Reassuring, even. But it’s not. As a conscious […]
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