I’ve studied over 200 kids—the ones with ‘exceptional’ social skills have parents who do 9 things early on

I’ve studied over 200 kids—the ones with ‘exceptional’ social skills have parents who do 9 things early on


Many parents think kids develop strong social skills from memorizing phrases like “please” and “thank you.” But the real foundation is built much earlier, at home and through everyday interactions.

I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve found that kids learn to communicate and connect by watching how their parents behave. And being raised in an environment where emotional safety and authentic connection are modeled makes a world of difference.

Here are nine things that parents who raise kids with exceptional social skills do early on.

1. They talk openly about feelings and emotions

Kids learn emotional vocabulary when parents name and normalize feelings.

Parents who say things like, “I feel disappointed we can’t go today, but I’ll take a deep breath and try again tomorrow,” are modeling emotional regulation in real time. It helps kids later express themselves with friends, like saying, “I’m sad you didn’t play with me,” instead of lashing out.

2. They model empathy in everyday life

Children absorb how parents treat others: the neighbor, the cashier, and even each other.

A simple, “She has her hands full, so let’s hold the door for her,” teaches more about empathy than any lecture. Small daily acts of kindness become the blueprint for lifelong social awareness.

3. They foster real, authentic confidence

True confident comes from being loved as you are, and being given the chance to try and sometimes fail.

Letting kids try out for the team or pour their own milk (even if it gets messy) says: “I trust you.” When paired with encouragement like, “I love how you kept trying,” kids feel capable and connected, without needing to be perfect.

4. They teach how to make things right after conflict

Every relationship includes conflict. What matters is whether kids learn how to repair.

Parents who say, “You hurt your sister’s feelings. Let’s think of what we can say or do to make it right,” are teaching a critical life skill: Repair strengthens relationships, and kids who learn it early grow into adults who can sustain healthy bonds.

5. They validate their child’s feelings

6. They help their kids recognize social cues

Kids don’t always pick up on social dynamics naturally. Parents who gently point out, “Did you notice how his voice got quiet? He might be feeling shy,” help kids tune into the subtleties of human interaction.

These micro-lessons add up and shape socially aware, emotionally intelligent adults.

7. They don’t rush in to solve every conflict for their child

The second kids argue, the impulse is often to intervene. But the best social learning happens when parents step back just enough.

Saying, “I’m here if you need help, but I think you two can work it out,” creates space for problem-solving and compromise. With time, kids learn they can handle conflict themselves because they were trusted to practice.

8. They treat mistakes as learning opportunities

When parents treat mistakes as evidence of growth, kids build resilience instead of shame.

A parent who calmly says, “You spilled the juice. Let’s grab a towel and clean it up,” models accountability without humiliation. Children raised this way see mistakes as opportunities to learn. That mindset makes them more adaptable and compassionate with others.

9. They listen more than they lecture

Kids need to see what good listening looks like.

When parents pause, make eye contact, give full attention (without rushing to fix or interrupt) and say, “Tell me more about that,” they teach how to be patient and respectful. Over time, kids carry this into friendships, becoming the kind of people others feel safe opening up to.

Good social skills are becoming more and more important in today’s world, and those skills grow from connection and emotional safety. By practicing early, you’re ensuring that your kid will grow up to be empathetic humans who are ready for real-world relationships.

Reem Raouda is a leading voice in conscious parenting and the creator of FOUNDATIONS, a step-by-step guide that helps parents heal and become emotionally safe. She is widely recognized for her expertise in children’s emotional safety and for redefining what it means to raise emotionally healthy kids. Connect with her on Instagram.

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I raised 2 successful CEOs and a professor of pediatrics—here's the biggest parenting mistake I see





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