You won’t get the raise you want in one meeting—here’s how long it will actually take, according to an expert negotiator

You won’t get the raise you want in one meeting—here’s how long it will actually take, according to an expert negotiator


Talking about money is hard, and asking your boss for more of it can be even harder. But once you have taken the time to research your market value and mull over your compensation goals, you’re likely ready to start negotiating for a higher salary.

No matter how prepared you may be, though, the first conversation with your boss about your pay or benefits likely won’t wrap up with a sealed deal including everything you’re hoping for, says Kathryn Valentine, CEO of Worthmore Strategies, which has helped hundreds of clients successfully negotiate their compensation packages.

It’s more likely that the process will require several weeks of meetings, follow-ups and documentation, she says.

The time it takes to negotiate your compensation shouldn’t worry you, though, Valentine says. “Some people think of this as this one-time conversation I have to have, and it’s so stressful, like buying a house,” she says. “It’s not buying a house.”

Rather, negotiating is an ongoing process that will come up several times throughout your career. And like any skill, you can get better at it with time.

Here’s what Valentine advises keeping in mind so you can have patience — and get what you seek — during the negotiation process.

Get the timing right 

Your annual review may feel like the natural time to ask for a raise, but by then, most companies have already determined their annual budget, Valentine says.

Starting the conversation at a mid-year check-in can be much more effective, she says, because your boss can factor compensation changes into plans for the following year. Plus, your annual review can feel more like a celebration if it doesn’t include serious salary talk.

DON’T MISS: The ultimate guide to negotiating a higher salary

Choosing the right timing to negotiate isn’t just about the company calendar, Valentine says. It’s also about opening up the dialogue at a time when your boss is most likely to be open and receptive — not when they’re dealing with a crisis at home or when a company disaster is in full swing.

After taking on new responsibilities or accomplishing a major company win, set the meeting up just like you’d arrange any other check-in with your manager, Valentine says. Be sure to clarify in advance that you’d like to discuss your compensation package. And before sitting down, double-check that they’re still in a good space to start the conversation, she says.

Get ready for the long haul

In the first meeting to negotiate a raise or other changes to your compensation, your goal should just be “to set yourself up to be successful,” Valentine says — not to reach an agreement. 

After you’ve started the initial conversation about your target salary or any other aspects of your compensation you’d like to improve, your boss will likely tell you that they, at the very least, need to consult with higher-ups or think about the changes before making any major agreements. This doesn’t mean you have failed, Valentine says — it just means it’s time to exercise some patience, and get ready to follow up.

Before you leave the meeting, make sure you solidify a time for a second one to hold both of you accountable, Valentine says.

Then, in a follow-up email, confirm the timing for that second discussion and attach your notes from the first one, so a lack of documentation doesn’t delay the process even further, she says.

Ultimately, successful negotiations are collaborative, so you need to be patient while the other party crunches the numbers and considers viable options, Valentine says.

Want to earn more money at work? Take CNBC’s online course How to Negotiate a Higher Salary. Expert instructors will teach you the skills you need to get a bigger paycheck, including how to prepare and build your confidence, what to do and say, and how to craft a counteroffer.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life, and request to join our exclusive community on LinkedIn to connect with experts and peers.

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